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Post by Erin ( Admin ) on May 29, 2014 0:57:29 GMT -5
If you were to date outside of your race...how would your family and friends feel
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Post by Ash on May 29, 2014 8:11:44 GMT -5
My mom wouldn't care, my dad idk, as for my grandma and her sister they don't fancy Caucasian people too much, as for the rest of my family I don't think they would care. To me, your family shouldn't have a final say in who you date, they're not dating the guy. Plus my grandmas sisters daughter and children are cray-cray lol. Can't bring them around too many people.
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Post by Ash on May 29, 2014 8:15:11 GMT -5
My mom wouldn't care, my dad idk, as for my grandma and her sister they don't fancy Caucasian people too much, as for the rest of my family I don't think they would care. To me, your family shouldn't have a final say in who you date, they're not dating the guy. Plus my grandmas sisters daughter and children are cray-cray lol. Can't bring them around too many people. And my friends are all of different races so, I don't think they would care. |
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Post by Erin ( Admin ) on May 29, 2014 8:19:27 GMT -5
To be honest I don't care how my family feels either ( they are fine with it..or so they say but I have a bunch of IR couples in my family ) but there are some people who legit "can't" date someone because of what their family thinks. They have the last say apparently. I've experienced this more with Asian men.
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Post by Yani on May 29, 2014 8:56:38 GMT -5
My parents would cringe at the thought of me dating outside of my race. In ethiopia there are diferent ethnicities & I'm oromo, if I were to even find a mate outside of that, they'd be iffy about it.
I'd like to say I wouldnt care what my parents think, but at tye same time I would. Family/community gatherings would be so awkward becuase no one in the community would be welcoming to the guy.
Ooh,tge struggle.
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Post by addicted2carmex on May 29, 2014 9:04:53 GMT -5
Let me just say I started my journey early lol. Ever since elementary schools, I've been attracted to guys outside my race. Basically, if a guy is attractive, then he is attractive regardless of race!
My parents are from Nigeria, so they grew up differently than me. Anywho, growing up my parents were racist behind closed doors. My dad more so than my mother. So you can imagine I had to keep mum about this for all these years! There is a lot of pressure on me from the Nigerian community to be in a relationship with a Nigerian or African man. I've recently changed doctors because our family physician who is Nigerian and the friend of the family lectured me about my love life. Instead of focusing on the visit, he lectured me on how there are soo many African men here that I need to associate with. If I end up being with an African guy, then so be it. I will never just date within my race to please others.
Last year, I did date this guy who's white. When I finally told my mom, she flipped! Her exact words were "Don't get too attached. You need to start associating with more Nigerian men." Lovely, I know. That night I came home at midnight from my date and she was up criticizing me on how late it was. Funny, when I go out with friends and come back at 2am, nobody says a damn thing, hmmm.
My dad was actually okay with me dating this guy. Surprising! Over the years, my parents have not seen eye-to-eye on things. My dad sat me down and confessed that now he doesn't care about the race of the guy I end up with, he just wants that guy to be supportive and we work together as a team. My parents are in a loveless marriage and it shows. He doesn't want me to end up like them. He just wants me to be happy.
Sorry for such a long post, I feel like I could go on forever with my experiences! This was more of a rant and ramble lol. Anywho, to answer the question my dad doesn't care, but my mom and the whole Nigerian community does. I'm going to be moving into an apartment early next year. I will start dating again then cuz I'll have the freedom to do as I please more freely than under my parent's roof. Too much unnecessary drama and talk. It'll give me time to hit the gym abd work on myself.
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missk
New Member
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Post by missk on May 29, 2014 9:06:45 GMT -5
My mom always telling me that she doesnt care but one time, she said : "as long as you don't have different cultures, because it's gonna be hard". So I don't know what to think.
My father doesn't care. My only grandma is not against but there are IR couples in the family and sometimes she says that the family is "lightening" (don't know if I can say it like this).
It's difficult. But they would never tell me that they're against my relationship.
Envoyé de mon GT-I9195 en utilisant Tapatalk
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missk
New Member
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Post by missk on May 29, 2014 9:08:35 GMT -5
Let me just say I started my journey early lol. Ever since elementary schools, I've been attracted to guys outside my race. Basically, if a guy is attractive, then he is attractive regardless of race! My parents are from Nigeria, so they grew up differently than me. Anywho, growing up my parents were racist behind closed doors. My dad more so than my mother. So you can imagine I had to keep mum about this for all these years! There is a lot of pressure on me from the Nigerian community to be in a relationship with a Nigerian or African man. I've recently changed doctors because our family physician who is Nigerian and the friend of the family lectured me about my love life. Instead of focusing on the visit, he lectured me on how there are soo many African men here that I need to associate with. If I end up being with an African guy, then so be it. I will never just date within my race to please others. Last year, I did date this guy who's white. When I finally told my mom, she flipped! Her exact words were "Don't get too attached. You need to start associating with more Nigerian men." Lovely, I know. That night I came home at midnight from my date and she was up criticizing me on how late it was. Funny, when I go out with friends and come back at 2am, nobody says a damn thing, hmmm. My dad was actually okay with me dating this guy. Surprising! Over the years, my parents have not seen eye-to-eye on things. My dad sat me down and confessed that now he doesn't care about the race of the guy I end up with, he just wants that guy to be supportive and we work together as a team. My parents are in a loveless marriage and it shows. He doesn't want me to end up like them. He just wants me to be happy. Sorry for such a long post, I feel like I could go on forever with my experiences! This was more of a rant and ramble lol. Anywho, to answer the question my dad doesn't care, but my mom and the whole Nigerian community does. I'm going to be moving into an apartment early next year. I will start dating again then cuz I'll have the freedom to do as I please more freely than under my parent's roof. Too much unnecessary drama and talk. It'll give me time to hit the gym abd work on myself. Thanak for the submission! Envoyé de mon GT-I9195 en utilisant Tapatalk |
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Post by fyourbadvibes on May 29, 2014 9:34:06 GMT -5
Good question !
Its funny to think about , my mom has always encouraged my sister and I to date who ever makes us happy, she's more concerned about our treatment and happiness. So naturally I'm open to dating guys from all over. I'm very grateful for her opinion as I realise some parents really feel the need to be apart of their children's relationships and criticize them. My step-father is sort of the same way being that he's Muslim he rather me have a spiritual connection with god me and my significant other. My biological father actually has a prejudice towards black men, even though he himself is Jamaican, he encourages me to date outside my race. All in all my family's opinion of a guy matters because i want us all to be kin. And i know if they don't like him it's because of his character not his race. I brought my bf (white) home the other day and my mom was pretty interested in getting to know him more so I guess its a good thing.
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Post by Erin ( Admin ) on May 29, 2014 12:01:33 GMT -5
My ex boyfriend had no problem telling me that his mom didn't want him with a black girl. He told her that his ex was Latina and she goes "but she wasn't black"
Her daughter had two kids with a black dude and...I don't even have to finish that because y'all know
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Post by ibelieveinfridays on May 29, 2014 12:08:47 GMT -5
I live in a metroplex, so there are people of every race, ethnicity, mix, religion here, so dating has always been whomever I vibe with is who I want to be with. Ant that was with my whole school from kindergarten until college. My generation doesn't care about color, I guess but my mom always asked me if I had met a black guy that I liked or wanted to date or something. It was annoying, but as I got older into high school she stopped asking those questions and was just happy if I was happy. Parts of my family still don't agree with it in general but 1. I give no shits about their opinions and 2. they have learned to be happy that I"m happy
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Post by clairnorah on May 29, 2014 14:53:39 GMT -5
My parents wouldn't care, I live in a community were the majority is white. My brother have dated a white girl but like black girls too, without any problems  <3 |
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Silvy
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Post by Silvy on May 29, 2014 17:24:30 GMT -5
It really shocked my dad when he figured out I liked a guy outside my race at one point, I thought he was going to be mad. He doesn't seem to mind anymore though, as long as whoever I am with "treats me right". My mom would just roll her eyes at me, but she doesn't mind as long as he is Christian. I don't really care if he is though to be honest, I'd date an atheist.
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Post by Erin ( Admin ) on May 29, 2014 17:55:33 GMT -5
I don't think my dad is totally cool with it but he accepts it
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Post by kayjacks on Jun 6, 2014 14:53:26 GMT -5
My family doesn't care and my mom actually encourages it plus she has dated outside her race a few times as well. Although she does love her some little chocolate babies, she understands that there aren't alot of quality black men out there (even in her generation) and she hates to see young black women wasting their time away on men who aren't worth 2 cents all in the name of "staying with your own". She's happy as long as we're happy and she just wants the best for us.
Even my grandma had a thing with a Middle Eastern guy once lol and one of my uncles is also white (they're divorced now however). I don't really talk to my dad but I know that him and his family are the same and have dated/married out their race too.
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Post by Kiki on Jun 7, 2014 23:51:23 GMT -5
I wouldn't have any problems regarding my friends. They've been supportive and encouraging when we talk about this topic.
Now as far as my family... Though I have never had an actual relationship with a guy outside of my race that wasn't friendship, I got a little taste of how my family would react to me dating someone that's not black a couple of years ago:
When I was 17, I was excited about going to senior prom with my best friend Scott, who's white. When I told my mom about going to the prom with him they were completely okay with it. Mom knew who he was and had met him so she knew he was white. When I told my dad about my prom date he flipped his shit. He immediately asked "So, no black boys asked you to prom?" and as time progressed he started say all of this crap about how "black people who date/marry outside of their race suffer from inferiority complexes" and "everyone should stay within their own race". Besides being pissed, I found that very funny seeing as his own brother has been married to a white woman for 20 years. Still, to this day he gives me underhanded crap about my "suspected" dating choices. He told that he knew I was into "white bums". When I asked him what he meant by that he danced around the question because he knew he was going to say something that would piss me off. When I talked it over with my mom, she told me she would be happy with whomever I wanted to date as he treated me right. My dating choices were nobody's business but my own. *le sigh*
Lol sorry this was so long. I feel like I'm ranting. I know as far as the rest of my family goes they would be okay with it on both mom and dad's side. My cousins made a couple of jokes but nothing as disheartening as what my dad feels.
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Post by spnthrrr on Jun 8, 2014 8:11:23 GMT -5
I'm biracial myself (black dad, white mom) so if either of them ever had a problem they'd be massive hypocrites. I think my dad has started to be a little iffy about it though, I suppose because for the last 7 years or so he's been dating black women instead of white women; I think he went sour on white women since his marriage to one ended badly. But he knows me well, so any misgivings regarding the race of guys I date he would keep to himself. My mom just goes along with whatever I do and is always happy as long as I am well.
I've had more of a problem with my extended family, my network of matriarchal great-aunts and my innumerable cousins. Very few of them, from what I know, have dated out, and I have had some of them say to me that they wonder why I don't find a nice black man to date. That's a whole other story...anyway, they seem to have mellowed out over the years, adopting more of a don't-care attitude.
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<3
