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Post by fyourbadvibes on May 29, 2014 8:50:37 GMT -5
Oy !
Thanks for creating this forum !
SO my bf of a month is white and he's a very open minded understanding individual, we talk about lots of concepts and theories.
Except racism , its not like we avoid it or ignore it, its just we haven't talked about it. I mean we talk about our differences and culture just nothing about oppression. I'm actually kinda of nervous how the conversation would go.
how would/should I approach it ?
Thanks !
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missk
New Member
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Post by missk on May 29, 2014 8:58:57 GMT -5
I've never had a white bf but I think you should tlak about that with him because that seems to be important for you.
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Post by ibelieveinfridays on May 29, 2014 12:16:00 GMT -5
I think racism is one of those extremely touchy subjects that can really divide people. Being so early in a relationship I would let the relationship grow for a little while. But if you want a kind of recent topic to ease into the conversation with, I suggest looking at this video and it's related videos : www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKXKccyb2e8 or "Stephen A.'s Position Unchanged on Mark Cuban's Comments" and disgussing. It's not very personal or as hurtful as racism COULD be so I think it's better than starting off with "the case". Good luck |
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Post by spnthrrr on May 29, 2014 22:28:03 GMT -5
With my last boyfriend, who is white, I was able to talk with him a lot about racism and other issues that are important to me. He was comfortable with it. I would personally steer clear of entering into or maintaining a relationship with a white person/other non-black person who actively avoids or minimizes that subject. And yes, you can still be very much pro-black without exclusively dating black men! Your attraction to people doesn't have to be restricted by your personal beliefs/politics. As far as how to approach it, I usually open up discussions with a personal experience, and let it branch out from there. I wish you luck.  |
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Post by Erin ( Admin ) on May 30, 2014 9:15:04 GMT -5
i've struggled with this myself. i havent actually dated many white men long enough to get to that point. my ex was half white/korean and because of the asian aspect we kidn of related on some things. he was really good about it. i have trouble with white men because a lot of them are on this "love sees no color" or "i dont see color" tip which is a cop out to me.
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Post by oblaque on May 31, 2014 10:25:59 GMT -5
I agree with starting with an article or blog post that broaches the subject. IMO you should approach the topic/conversation the way you normally would - don't over-compromise your level of passion for issues affecting black people if these issues are important to you. He needs to be able to deal with that and you deserve to feel comfortable in your relationship, not like you have to walk on eggshells when it comes to racism and oppression. I hope that everything turns out well, but remember that though attraction knows no color/gender/politics etc, that it is always your choice. Only you can determine if his reaction is a deal-breaker.
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Post by fyourbadvibes on May 31, 2014 18:44:59 GMT -5
As far as how to approach it, I usually open up discussions with a personal experience, and let it branch out from there. I wish you luck. Thank You for clearing that up for me ! I was beginning to think that if I didn't date a black guy it would seem like i'm a hypocrite you know? I think I will approach it in a natural setting with personal experience and listen to his response. |
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